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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26622532">Heartbroken (Lumity AU)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toasty_The_Buttered_Toast/pseuds/Toasty_The_Buttered_Toast'>Toasty_The_Buttered_Toast</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Owl House (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A lot more bad stuff, Abuse, Angst, F/F, Hatred, Lumity, Maybe - Freeform, Self-Hatred, Suicide, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:32:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26622532</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toasty_The_Buttered_Toast/pseuds/Toasty_The_Buttered_Toast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world that all goes wrong when Luz leaves, Amity barely holds on with a single promise she made to Luz. Finally, after waiting years, Luz comes back, but she's different now. Will Amity be able to stay with Luz, or will she walk away?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Possible Others Later</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>220</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Here, Yet So Far Away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: This chapter involves mentions of abuse and self-harm. Do not read if these are sensitive topics.</p><p>Hello, this is a story that will probably get you guys mad in a way. It probably won't involves any fluff, rather it will be a story that involves negative topics. I already have somethings planned, which are gonna be...horrible, in the most simplistic terms. Don't expect this to have a happy ending, I still haven't fully decided if it shall or not. Anyways, enjoy the first chapter of Heartbroken.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>WARNING: The following text contains topics of suicide, selfharm, ect.<br/>
Read at your own discretion.<br/>
Chapter 1</p><p>“Luz!! Luz,  please…don’t leave me…” I ran up to her, grabbing onto her sleeves tightly, staring into her eyes. I could feel a waterfall of tears running down my face.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Amity,” Luz says, wrapping me into a tight hug, her chin slightly digging into my neck. “Wait for me alright…I’ll come back for you...I promise, just wait for me, okay?” I sniffle before responding and hugging her back.</p><p>“Okay Luz, I’ll wait for you, as long as it takes, I’ll be here waiting…”</p><p>Luz lets go of me, turning around and walking through the portal, the bright lights blind me, but I kept my eyes on her.</p><p>~~~</p><p>I blink, seeing that I was no longer staring at the back of Luz, but now I was in my bed, tears still filling my eyes, and a few slowly running down my cheek. </p><p>“Ugh, of course that nightmare happened again” I say, groaning slightly out of irritation, and quickly wipe away any tears that were remaining. ‘I think that was the 3rd time this week, but today was gonna be different, that nightmare will no longer be affecting me’ I thought, as a small spread across my face. ‘Today was the day that Luz was coming back, back to me…’</p><p>I get up and look in the mirror, seeing dark bags under my eyes. I already knew I wasn’t in the best mental and physical condition. The years have been rough, and at times, I didn’t think I would make it. Soon after Luz left, I lost hope, lost confidence, and my days progressively were filled with more and more sorrow.</p><p>The single promise I made to Luz was the one thing that kept me going. Without the promise there, I would’ve broken down, I wouldn’t get through, and I would’ve ended myself long ago.</p><p>I slightly rub my forearm, remembering all the times I wanted to cut into my skin, wanting to fill my mind up with physical pain instead of mental pain. I’ve gotten close, but always stopped at the last second, thinking about how Luz wouldn’t want this for me. Many times I wonder what would’ve happened if I didn’t stop myself.</p><p>I let out a sigh, letting a moment of reflection fill my mind; something I would do daily to help me keep my sanity, or at least what was left of it. I decided it was time to text Willow to see when Luz is coming.</p><p>Amity: “Hey Willow, when and where are we meeting Luz?”</p><p>Willow: “Hello, we’re meeting Luz at the owl house and at 4pm. We are going to set up a little party, so you might want to get here an hour early. You don’t’ have to bring anything”</p><p>Amity: “Okay, cya at 3 then”</p><p>Willow: “Bye”</p><p>I shut off my scroll, and let out a sigh. ‘I wonder how many people are gonna be there’, I thought, hoping that it would just be the gang. Then after a second of thought I realized it would be a bit awkward either way. I had lost contact with them. One reason is because Luz was the reason they hung out, and second is a reason I rather not think about.</p><p>“Amity, come down her, won’t you dear?” I flinch at the voice, the voice of my mother asking for me. I looked over at the door, I already knew well enough what would happen if I didn’t respond so I did.</p><p>“Coming, Mother” I said, loud enough so she’ll hear me. I quickly gave myself one more look in the mirror, seeing how messy my hair was. I had cut it short at the top, that showed my undercut, which was now fully dyed teal, under my mom’s orders. I looked over at my ears, noticing that they were down, knowing my mom wouldn’t like that, I forced them to stand up straight. I then quickly brushed my hair with my hand, swiping it to the side. I sigh once before leaving my room, and reaching my mother.</p><p>“Yes, Mother?” I said, trying to sound as polite as possible, keeping a straight posture.</p><p>“I have a lot of work today, so you better behave yourself” She said, sternly, but loosely since she knows that I wouldn’t dare rebel against her, at least not anymore.</p><p>“Of course, Mother.” I put my hands behind my back, and put my hands into fists, realizing I was shaking at my mom’s presence.</p><p>“Good. Bye, Honey,” She said, walking away. I stood there frozen, only turning my gaze so I knew when she would leave, until she closed the front door, which I then let out a sigh, slouching in the process.</p><p>‘Damn, even just being around her makes me terrified’, I thought to myself, slightly ashamed.</p><p>I looked over at the kitchen, debating if I should make myself breakfast, but I quickly realized I don’t have the motivation to. The only thing I felt like doing was to write. I had picked up that hobby more and more, as a way to cope. I quickly headed to my room, excited that I could do something I had held close to my heart without any disruptions. </p><p>~~~</p><p>I finally look away from my writing and stretch my hands over my head. I grab my scroll and look at the time; 1:00. I blinked a few times, surprised I wrote for about 5 hours without a stop, but a hint of proudness stood out, if only just barely. </p><p>Then my stomach growled, realizing that I should eat something. I head out of my room and to the kitchen. I reach the pantry and look at what I should make, but then it hits once again, I lose motivation to make myself something. I decided to just grab a granola bar, looking at it for a second, knowing that it wouldn’t fill me up, but I couldn’t care less.</p><p>I head back to my room, deciding it was time to pick an outfit. Looking in my closet, I just decided to pick something casual and comfortable. I grabbed a regular black shirt and got a black sweater, with white strips on the sides. To match, I grabbed black sweatpants also with white stripes on the side, which I got specifically for each other. </p><p>After a moment of thought, I decided I would chill somewhere outside for a while before going to the owl house to finally meet Luz, the thought brought a smile to my face. I quickly changed and looked at the mirror, I looked like I had been up for days, which would’ve been the reason a week ago, though I ignored my current appearance. Then, I grabbed my stuff and made my way out of the house. Finally starting my walk.</p><p>~~~</p><p>After a bit of mindless walking, I decided to head to a spot I would regularly visit to calm any anger that was building up inside of me. This time I wasn't specifically for anger, but to just enjoy myself, enjoy the boiling isles. Even if I didn’t enjoy what memories were contained within the boiling isles, I couldn’t hate the view.</p><p>Reaching the spot, it was a cliff that was a distance away from the buildings but close enough to see them well. Right behind led to a forest, one that looked lovely in the sunlight and maintained that beauty even through the night, at least that’s what I thought.</p><p>I sit down at the edge, legs dangling off. I let out a sigh and close my eyes, letting thoughts run in and out, staying on each thought only for a moment. Through all the thoughts, there was only one I couldn’t get rid of; Luz.</p><p>After what almost felt like an eternity, I picked up my scroll and looked at the time; 2:30. It was time, time to head to the owl house.</p><p>~~~</p><p>Reaching the owl house, I was greeted by Hooty, who was about to say something, but I gave him a stern glare, making him shut up. ‘Guess that’s something I can thank my mom for…’. I hated the thought of being thankful for my mother, but I couldn’t prevent it.</p><p>I slowly reached for the doorknob and opened it, and I was immediately greeted by Eda, which made my ears twitch at her sudden presence.</p><p>“Hey, kid, haven’t seen ya in a while…”. Her voice came to a stop, taking a better look at me. “Geez, what happened to you over the years...you look so...dead”. </p><p>I could see the concern in her eyes, but I couldn’t care less. “I came to see Luz return”. I think she also noticed the fact that I wasn’t gonna respond to any questions involving my current state, and motioned towards the couch with a bit of hesitation, and walked to the kitchen.</p><p>“I can’t believe after all these years, she’s finally coming back,” I could tell that Eda was starting to get emotional. Though, all I could respond with was a little nod, as I pulled out my scroll; 3:00. </p><p>Just then I heard the door open and Hooty talking. I looked up to see Willow and Gus, Boscha slightly behind, my guess was for Willow.</p><p>“Oh hi, Amity. Didn’t expect you to be here before us”. Once again, I could only give a nod, looking at them for a second, but immediately looking down back at my scroll. I only came here to see Luz, if she wasn’t coming I would’ve been in my room, probably sleeping.</p><p>The gang stepped closer to me, Boscha’s eyes widened, looking at my appearance. She quickly grabbed my wrist and pulled me outside, far away from Hooty, for obvious reasons.</p><p>“Hey, watch it!” I said, getting quite angry. Then Boscha stopped and shaked me furiously by the shoulders.</p><p>“I told you to start taking care of yourself! You aren’t mentally stable, and you know this!” I had slightly regretted the fact that I told Boscha about the shit that happens with me.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter…” I said, looking away, irritation written on my face.</p><p>“Amity...Luz is coming back, how do you think she’s gonna react to seeing how you haven’t taken care of yourself…” Boscha took on a sweeter tone. I stayed silent, not knowing how I should respond. I knew she would probably be right, and it was something I didn’t want to admit. “When Luz comes, I need you to tell her about all the stuff that has happened…I can’t help you, you don’t listen to me, but you’ll listen to Luz. So please, if you can’t take action to help yourself, then talk to Luz.”</p><p>I stood there for a moment, finally looking up at Boscha and giving a nod, “okay…” I mumbled quietly. Boscha gives my shoulder a little pat, heading to the house, and I follow slightly behind.</p><p>~~~</p><p>The rest of the time was pretty awkward. Willow and Gus didn’t notice my current physical state, mostly due to the fact I kept my head down the entire time. Then Eda walked in, a smile on her face and slightly watery eyes.</p><p>“Let’s get this started”. My face beamed up, I couldn't wait to see Luz again. Once everyone was focused on Eda, she opened a portal, a portal to the Human Realm.</p><p>After a few moments of anxious waiting. A foot was seen coming through the portal, then a knee, then there she was...Luz</p><p>Luz still had the same hairstyle, but grew it out more. She wore a black shirt and dark grey jeans. </p><p>Before realizing what I was doing, my feet started unconsciously moving towards her. Then when I was close enough, I reached for her…</p><p>*slap*</p><p>‘Wait, what..? That can’t be right, can it…? No, no, this is a nightmare…’ I looked up at Luz, her hand by her face, the hand she just slapped my hand with. I looked into Luz’s eyes, realizing that this was no longer the Luz she knew, the dork, the one that made me laugh, the one I danced with, the one I fell in love with, and not the one I made the promise with… This Luz is someone who is looking at her with eyes of cruelty and hatred towards her. </p><p>I took a step back a little shocked, not knowing how I should act. I could hear voices from the others, and I would normally hear them, but it was drowned out by my thoughts. </p><p>I felt unwelcomed, untrusted, ashamed, and sadness filled me, and it was all because of Luz. I felt my eyes start to water up, I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I bolted out the front door, running as far as I possibly could, making a path of tears…not knowing where I would go next.</p><p>~~~</p><p>I stop, looking up, I see that my feet took me to the spot that I was at earlier, ‘my spot’ I thought to myself.</p><p>I look blankly at the boiling isles, before dropping towards the floor. I sat there, letting all the current events process more through my head.</p><p>I thought again and again and again, one thought seemed to ring louder than any other, a thought that I wished I never had to experience; ‘My light had died’</p><p>The End - Chapter 1<br/>
Word: 2245</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Mother</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Boscha does her best to cheer up Amity, and one solutions she thinks of, is to try and mend the bond between Luz and Amity. Though during the encounter, Amity gets a text from someone she wished never existed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, this chapter will contain Abuse, do not if this is a more sensitive topic for you. Sorry, for taking awhile to post another chapter, I've been trying to organize my thoughts of how I want this story to play out. Aside from that, enjoy the story.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warning: The following will contain Abuse. Viewer discretion advised<br/>Chapter 2</p>
<p>My eyes barely peek open, immediately getting covered by a mellow light, causing me to put my forearm over my eyes. </p>
<p>After a moment, I put my hand on the ground, and I blinked a few times which finally triggered the realization that I wasn’t in my room, but instead I fell asleep at the cliff, my spot that I ran to, after what happened...yesterday.</p>
<p>Then all of a sudden, I was hit by a wave of memories of last night’s events. I felt like crying, but my eyes were too dry, and puffy, which didn’t allow me to.</p>
<p>I slowly get up on my elbows, feeling my bones stiff, making me slightly groan. I didn’t want to move anymore, I didn’t want to move ever again. I wanted to curl up in a ball and parish. ’No one would care, I didn’t have a reason to live. I had lost that, and I held onto it for so, so long. It would’ve been better if I died before, then I wouldn’t have experienced this. It wasn’t worth it. I want to die…’</p>
<p>Thoughts repeated over and over again, it made me bury my face into my knees, holding them tightly. I didn’t want to open my eyes, then I would have to accept the fact that this is reality, and not a bad nightmare, not something that would just go away. </p>
<p>*Buzz* *Buzz*</p>
<p>My ears flinched at the sudden noise, it was my scroll. After a long moment of hesitation, I open my eyes and grab my scroll, trying to ignore the urge to break my scroll. I didn’t want to deal with anything right now.</p>
<p>Looking at it, I see it’s Boscha. </p>
<p>Boscha: “Amity!”  “Where are you?”  “Are you okay?”  “I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding. We can go talk to Luz and see what happened” </p>
<p>I stare at my scroll for a bit, then put it down, knowing that if I answer, I’m gonna get myself into something.</p>
<p>*Buzz*</p>
<p>I groan loudly and pick up my scroll again.</p>
<p>Boscha: “You do realize you have your settings so I can see if you have read my text. Anyways, I’m gonna call you now, since you won’t respond”</p>
<p>The second I finish reading the text, my scroll starts to ring. I wait a few seconds, trying to release the hesitation, since I knew she would keep on being persistent. I then place my thumb on the answer button gently.</p>
<p>Amity: “Hello..?”</p>
<p>Boscha: “Amity, I know you’re probably in a bad state right now. How about this, we go over there, to Luz. We can talk about what happened last night, and boom, everything will be all good!”</p>
<p>I could tell she was trying to be cheery, in an effort to comfort me, if only a bit. Her voice was slightly shaking, probably not wanting to admit that Luz is different.</p>
<p>Boscha: “Come on, let’s go, I’ll get you ice cream on the way. It didn’t go well initially, but we also haven’t seen Luz in a while. What was that one line? The one you always said with Luz? Something like; Let’s fix this. I honestly don’t remember”.</p>
<p>Amity: “We can fix this together…”</p>
<p>I mumble slightly. Letting some memories sink in before responding.</p>
<p>Amity: “Fine, I’ll go…”</p>
<p>Boscha: “Great! Where are you though? At a manor?”</p>
<p>I looked around, not knowing how exactly I would explain my location, I decided it was better we meet somewhere else.</p>
<p>Amity: “How about we meet over by the market..?”</p>
<p>Boscha: “Sounds good to me. Meet me there in 30 minutes”</p>
<p>Amity: “Okay..cya then”</p>
<p>A quiet beep is heard through the scroll, telling me that Boscha hung up. I put my scroll in front of me, turning on the camera to see how I currently look. After a bit of messing around with my hair, I get up and head to the market.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>“Amity!” an arm wraps around my neck, causing my whole body to flinch. The arm is quickly released from my neck. “Sorry, sorry”. I look over to see Boscha, she must’ve realized why I flinched so badly to that. I gently rub my neck, bring back a couple memories.</p>
<p>“What now?” I say, finally making eye contact with Boscha.</p>
<p>“Ice cream!” Boscha started to head over to the Ice Cream stand, I just followed quietly, trying not to focus my thoughts on Luz anymore.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Boscha and I sit on a bench, both relaxing from all the walking we’ve been doing. Gladly, I was able to avert my mind of Luz for most of it.</p>
<p>“Do you want to see her?” I look over at Boscha, from the out of nowhere question she just asked. I didn’t have to ask a question of who ‘her’ is though, it was quite obvious. I look down at my hands, that were on my lap.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I don’t even think she wants to see me. I saw how she looked at me, she looked disgusted at me..” I say, fighting off the urge to cry. </p>
<p>“Well your ‘I don’t know’, I’m gonna take it as a chance to take you to her” Boscha said now standing up. “Come on, let’s go.”</p>
<p>I wanted to argue with her more, but I didn’t have enough energy to do such a thing, so I sigh in defeat, and get up from the bench. “Fine..” I say as I start walking towards the direction of the owl house.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>I was slightly lacking behind Boscha, so she had to deal with Hooty. I stand there in silence, while Boscha argues with Hooty. During this time, I thought of all the possible scenarios that could happen, maybe, I thought, maybe it would make me feel at least a bit better, but that ultimately failed.</p>
<p>I hear a slam, looking up, I see Eda opened the door, wondering who Hooty was talking to.</p>
<p>“Oh, hello. I’m guessing you guys are here to see Luz. First reintroductions didn’t go so well…” Eda said, looking over at me. “Come in.”</p>
<p>Both Boscha and I walk inside, Boscha lets out a sigh of relief that she doesn’t have to deal with Hooty anymore. </p>
<p>“Where’s Luz?” Was all I could muster, with what little confidence I had.</p>
<p>“She’s upstairs, to the right, in her room. Honestly, it seems she’s avoiding everyone, even King and I, so be careful.” I nod in response, and start making my way upstairs. I stop at the door, not wanting to open it. I signal to Boscha, hoping she would take charge, which she did’</p>
<p>With the door now opened, I see her. Luz, sitting on the windowsheil, her hair messily ruffled. The look on her face made me blush slightly, but I quickly brushed it off. Luz slowly turns around seeing that she had company, she gets up from the windowshiel, facing us.</p>
<p>When we first made eye contact, I noticed Luz’s eyes narrow slightly for a second, which made my ears go down slightly, but I regained control of my ears rather quickly.</p>
<p>Boscha looks over to me, and I’m pretty sure she saw the hesitation to talk, in my eyes.</p>
<p>“Luz, what happened to you?” Boscha said, directing her attention to Luz. Based on her voice, she probably was recalling all the events of last night, though I didn’t know much.</p>
<p>Luz scoffed at the question. “You really think I would just lay out my whole life when we haven’t seen each other for years? Yah, good luck next time. Now leave, I don’t wanna deal with you guys”.</p>
<p>The tone made a shiver go down my spine, and honestly, a hint of anger started coming.</p>
<p>Boscha looked over to me, asking for some assistance. I didn’t have anything to say without ranting, so I looked the other way.</p>
<p>“So that’s just gonna be how it goes? We haven’t seen you in years and you just expect us to not come and see you?!” At this response, Luz walked up to Boscha, I now realized that Luz is now a few inches taller than me. Luz sternly pressed her index finger into Boscha’s neck, making her choke for a second.</p>
<p>“I won’t repeat myself! I don’t want to see any of you guys, so leave me the hell alone!” I saw Luz clench her fist, making me panic slightly.</p>
<p>*buzz**buzz*</p>
<p>I got a text?</p>
<p>Both Boscha and Luz looked over to me, so I took a chance to see who it was quickly.</p>
<p>‘Oh no’ I put my fingers in my hair out of stress.</p>
<p>“Amity?” I look up and Boscha has a concerned look on her face, Luz appears to be confused.</p>
<p>“I’ve gotta go, like right now” I start backing out of Luz’s room, my eyes now glued to the screen.</p>
<p>“Wait, don’t tell me…” Boscha said, looking as if she saw a ghost, mixed with a bit of anger.</p>
<p>“Yah…” Then in one quick movement, Boscha pushed away Luz’s hand and gave me a tight hug.</p>
<p>“Uh, what’s going on?” I look up, almost completely forgetting that Luz was there. I made eye contact with her for a second, and I swear I saw a hint of worry in her eyes, but I averted my attention to the floor.</p>
<p>Boscha looked over at me, encouraging me to at least say something to Luz. </p>
<p>“You...aren’t the only one how has been living a...different life” I said, making eye contact with her at the last words. </p>
<p>I look back at Boscha, kinda proud that I was able to talk to Luz. “I’ve got to get going now though...see you in a…”. I go quiet, not actually knowing how long it will be till I can see her again. Last time it was a whole 2 months.</p>
<p>“I get it, see you then...text me if you are allowed your scroll…” I saw pain written all over Boscha's face. I turn my attention to Luz, tilting my head down and bending forward to excuse myself.</p>
<p>“I will be on my way then…” I turn on my heels and make my way out of the owl house, being fully aware that my mom isn’t going to treat me nicely.</p>
<p>~~~ Warning: Further text involves Abuse. If this is a sensitive topic, stop reading!</p>
<p>Reaching the front door, I let out a sigh, trying to build any confidence I have to walk through. In a split moment of courage, I walked in, and an immediate shiver ran down my spine.</p>
<p>“...Mother…?” I gulp, not hearing a response. I continue into the house. The eerie quietness makes my hair stick up on end. “Mother, are you home?”</p>
<p>“Yes, dear,” I look over to see the source of the voice, my mom. Her presence makes me want to curl into a ball, but I refuse the temptation. “Now, if you don’t mind me asking. Which you obviously don’t. Where exactly were you? You know how much I hate it when you go out unannounced instead of study at home.” </p>
<p>“Yes, of course, Mother. I will do better next time.” I bow down, no longer wanting to have eye contact with her.</p>
<p>“Oh, dear, you haven’t answered my question. Where were you,” the sternness in her voice almost made my knees shake. It felt as if the air got 20 times heavier.</p>
<p>“I went to the market, I wanted to get some fresh air before continuing my studies.” I hear footsteps coming closer to me, and I just barely stop myself from shaking.</p>
<p>*Bang*</p>
<p>I stumble onto the floor, clutching my left ear tightly, ringing filled my hearing. After a moment, I look up, to see my mom holding her staff in the air, telling me she just hit me with her staff. I then notice a bit of blood on the tip of the staff, I slowly remove my hand from my ear, seeing blood covering my hand.</p>
<p>“Get up” Without a second thought I got up. Standing up straight and keeping eye contact with her. “Oh, Dear. You already know you can’t lie to me” She walks up to me, grabbing me by the neck, and pushing my back until I hit a wall. “Why were you there? Tell me.” With that, she starts tightening her grip on my neck. </p>
<p>I start to panic, not knowing how I should respond. I grab onto her wrist, tugging a bit, only to be immediately choked more. Not seeing anyway out of this situation I had to respond honestly. “Luz...Luz came back…” I say between breaths.</p>
<p>This answer loosens the grip on my neck, allowing me to breath again. I do my best not to go into a choking fit. I look up at my mom, I can tell she didn’t know how to respond. I take it as a moment to try and calm my nerves more.</p>
<p>“You shall not see her again, never” Once again, she talks in a stern voice, but I’m no longer able to stop myself from shaking. I stay silent for a bit, thinking back to how Luz has treated me so far, and honestly, I don’t think I could’ve dealt with it, so I nod my head in response.</p>
<p>We stood in silence for a while, I kept my eyes glued to the floor. My mom’s hand no longer at my throat.</p>
<p>“Go and study, and tidy yourself up, we have company today.”</p>
<p>“Mother, who may this company be,” I said, trying to be as polite as possible.</p>
<p>“The Snark family”. I want to groan loudly, knowing that that’s the family of someone who my mom has been trying to set up a forced relationship with me. I stop the groan by a simple nod.</p>
<p>“I will be heading to my room now” After a moment, my mother moves slightly out of the way, to signify that I am able to leave. I then walk away quickly, wanting to get away from her.</p>
<p>Closing my door behind me, I slowly fall down, my back sliding down the door. I press my face into my knees, knowing well that this night was gonna be one I wouldn’t even wish on my enemies…</p>
<p>The End-Chapter 2<br/>Words: 2380</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading. I am thinking of starting to post my stories onto Wattpad, just in case some people would rather be on an app. If I decide to do it, I will keep you updated. I believe that's all the news, cya next time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Snark Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A family comes over, a family of someone she rather not be involved with, luckily they didn't come. During this time though, Amity is able to reflect more, and makes another promise to Luz.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, this is just a small chapter I wanted to get out, felt like where I ended would be a good point that would proceed nicely into Chapter 4. Hope this chapter will explain some thoughts you guys may have. Anyways, enjoy.</p><p>Only warning that this chapter really has is a slight mention of Abuse, based on last chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Warning: Slight mention of Abuse<br/>
Chapter 3</p><p>I had tidied myself up, and had begun to study. I look up for a moment, looking to my mirror. Some scratches on the side of my head still remained, which I used my hair to cover most of it. There’s a few bruises on my neck from being choked, though they were just barely appearing. I slightly rub my neck, but stop quickly when a pang of pain appears on my neck.</p><p>I open a drawer, pulling out a picture of my family, my twins are ruffling my hair, while my dad hugs us from the back. My mother of course not in the picture. We were located at the market, so a few random people linger in the background.</p><p>I stare at it, allowing a few happy memories to come back to me for a while. Ever since my dad died, my mom had full control of the household. She immediately kicked out the twins, saying they were a bad influence and shouldn’t be involved with me. She even delayed when I will join a coven so I can focus on my studies. </p><p>I then look back down at the drawer, ready to put it away, and release my memories, but then I see it. Another picture I had never been able to bring myself to throw out, a picture of Luz and I at the secret room in the library, one of the first days of the Azura book club. It almost brought a smile to me, but quickly got overrun by the thoughts of how Luz currently is.</p><p>‘What happened to you’ I think, slightly rubbing over the picture with my thumb. A frown appears on my face, and I furrow my eyebrows.</p><p>*Buzz*</p><p>I look over at my scroll, giving the picture of me and Luz one more glance before grabbing my scroll to see who it is.</p><p>Boscha: Hey, you good?</p><p>I have a bit of hesitation, not exactly knowing how I should respond.</p><p>Amity: What do you think?</p><p>Boscha: Your damn mom, I swear if I ever get the chance, I’ll beat the shit out of her</p><p>Not knowing what I should say next, I gently put down my scroll, and put away the picture, no longer wanting to have those thoughts. I decided just to continue with my studies. </p><p>*Buzz*</p><p>I picked my scroll up once again, assuming that probably Boscha had to say something else.</p><p>Boscha: Want to try meeting with Luz again? </p><p>I can tell that Boscha wanted to help me on an emotional level, and maybe in some other universe, I would take her up on the offer, but I couldn’t not right now, not while my mom is keeping a close eye on me. </p><p>Amity: Sorry, I won’t be able to, at least not for a while. I’ve gotta go, bye</p><p>I sent that not knowing when I’ll be able to see Boscha again, or even be let out of the house. I hear my scroll buzz one more time, but I don’t bother to check it anymore. I decided that I would write a bit before the Snark family comes… Even the mention of the family makes me want to slam my head against the wall.</p><p>~~~</p><p>“Amity dear, get ready, the Snark family will be here soon”. Hearing my mom’s voice, knocks me out of the trance of writing. I get up, and walk to the closet. I quickly put on a white button-up shirt, and a black jacket over. I put on some black pants, that we barely baggy. For my shoes, I went for some low heel boots. I went over to the mirror, swiping my hair to one side. I let a sigh escape my mouth, not wanting to leave my room.</p><p>I then raise my chin slightly, checking for bruises, still they were hardly visible, if I keep my head lower, no one will notice them. The scratches on my head were easily covered by my hair.</p><p>“Come down here, dear” My mom called for me from downstairs, there was no way of escaping this without huge punishments. </p><p>‘Fuck it’ I thought to myself, as I finally make it to my door, and leaving my room. I make it to the living room, seeing the Snark family, I grin slightly, trying to be friendly. I notice that it is only a man and woman, a small sigh of relief escapes me. Luckily the son didn’t come. I quickly notice that food is already laid out, making a plan to start eating to not deal with them.</p><p>“Ah, there you are. We were just talking about your studies. Come, sit down.” My mother says, now gesturing to the seat next to her. I make my way to the chair, seating down. At this moment, I realize that my shoulders are tense, but I know trying to calm down, will only make me tense up more. I looked down slightly, but kept my posture straight. I am fully aware that if I made a bad example of the Blight family, I will be punished severely.</p><p>“Hello, nice to meet you.” I looked at the source of the voice, it was from a man who had his jet black hair swept back. He wore a suit, making his aura feel professional. I can only assume that this is the father. He then directs his attention back to my mother, “We were unable to bring our son.” He says gesturing to the woman sitting next to him. “He went out to party with friends, too bad he isn’t more like your daughter, more well behaved.”</p><p>“Yes, Amity sure is one of my greatest prides”, my mother responded. ‘If only she treated me better’ I thought to myself. </p><p>Looking down a bit more, I realize that my nails are digging into my palms, while I tightly clench my fists. I don’t know why, but I don’t seem able to release my hands, having to deal with the pain.</p><p>I looked at my food, no longer wanting to listen to the conversation. I start eating, slowly of course, wanting it to keep me occupied through all of this. I listened only barely, making sure no one was trying to get my attention. There were a few moments where I got lost in thought, it would always lead to Luz. I wasn’t sure exactly what I thought of her at the moment, all I knew is that I at least wanted to help her in any way possible. </p><p>~~~</p><p>Finally back in my room, I quickly got changed into something more comfortable. I let myself stand still, relaxing some of my nerves. I then stretched, being tensed up that whole time made me feel as if I had been there for days. </p><p>A light moonlight creeps into my room, making me redirect my attention. I turn to my window, slowly walking towards it. I gently ran my hand across the windowshiel, allowing some peaceful memories to run through, but I wanted to be even more at peace, especially at my current state. I slowly get onto the windowshiel, looking out the window. A small smile spreads across my face.</p><p>Then there the thought was again; Luz. A while back that was all she was, a thought, a memory, but not anymore. Memories upon memories flooded my mind, but I didn’t want it to only be these memories, I wanted more, I wanted to spend more time with her. It might be useless, it might, she’s different now, she has changed, but if there’s at least a hint of the Luz I know in there, I wanna do what I can to get her back. ‘Luz, I promise, I will save you from the nightmares you’ve lived through…’ The final thoughts release from my mind, as I fall into a hopeful sleep.</p><p>The End - Chapter 3<br/>
Words: 1321</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading. Not sure exactly when the next chapter will be out, but I will try to get it out soon. Cya.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Try Again?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Luz gets time to reflect on recent events, and is finally able to get to see Amity again thanks to Boscha, will it go well? Will Luz stay with Amity? Will Amity even want to stay with Luz?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, sorry for it taking awhile to post another chapter. Only warning I will give for this chapter is a slight show of the after math of abuse, though barely any mention of the abuse it self. Anyways enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 4</p><p>It has been four months since I’ve seen Amity. Last time I saw her was when she left abruptly. I could see sadness in her eyes, mixed with worry and fear. I hated the sight. I haven’t been able to get her off my mind.</p><p>I’ve been reflecting on my actions, and I know I shouldn’t have slapped away her hand but something inside of me prevented me from hugging her, and holding her close. I knew where it came from though, I couldn’t allow her to see me like this, so broken, and if she knew what I’ve done since I’ve left, she would probably hate me, and the thought always terrified me. </p><p>I decided to get up, I didn’t want to sulk any longer. I quickly put on something comfortable, and head out of my room and to the living room. Seeing no sign of Eda or King, I figured it’d be best just to leave. Hooty starts talking but I ignore him, still trying to get Amity off my mind. I let out a long sigh, tring to release those last thoughts of her. I stand still, looking over at the sky, before deciding to head to the market. ‘It has been a long while since I’ve been there, I wonder if it's still like I remember.’ I thought to myself, starting to walk.</p><p>~~~</p><p>After about a 30 minute walk, I finally reached the market. At first appearance it was the same. The sight brought a small smile to my face, mixed with warmth. Looking at the stands, there were some I remember and others I’ve never seen. It was crowded but not overly. I was able to easily make my way though.</p><p>*bump*</p><p>Someone walked into my shoulder, “Hey, watch it!” I yell. Looking over my shoulder, I see that I bumped into Boscha. Her eyes widened at the sight of me, and quickly averted her attention to the ground. Next to her was Willow and Gus, Gus who was basically looking behind him, not wanting to acknowledge my existence, I couldn’t blame him though. Willow was the only one who actually made eye contact with me.</p><p>“Hey Luz…” Willow said, obviously not wanting to be mean, but would rather walk away. “How have you been?”</p><p>“Uhh, I’ve been okay.” I responded and suddenly in the back of my mind, Amity’s face appeared. “A-actually, have you guys seen...Amity?” ‘Oh shit, why did I say that.’ Regret instantly filled me. It was an impulsive action, but no turning back now.</p><p>At the corner of my eye, I notice Boscha slightly grinding her teeth, clearly out of anger, though I couldn’t quite guess why. Gus doesn’t even move a muscle. </p><p>“Amity...she…” Willow said. Panic started to fill me, I hated that reaction. ‘Is Amity okay, is she alive, where can I find her? Was it because of that text she got? Could it have been my fault?’ So many thoughts running through my brain, and I couldn’t land on any single thoughts for long.</p><p>“Amity had been through a lot, Luz. Honestly, none of us know when we are gonna see her.”</p><p>I heard Boscha mutter something under her breath, the only word I was able to pick up was; “Mother”.</p><p>“Amity’s mom?” I said, my voice kinda filled with confusion. ‘Of course I knew her mom was mean and rude, controlling, but she had her dad and siblings with her. They were there for her. What happened?’</p><p>Suddenly Boscha loses control. “Her fucking mother can go die in a goddamn hole! Never even letting Amity leave the HOUSE! Ugh! Amity probably has inju-”. Willow quickly covers Boshca’s mouth and shakes her, which makes her be quiet. Boscha looks up to me, realizing she almost just revealed a lot of stuff about Amity. Seeing Boscha’s reaction, Willow lets go of her. “Hey, Luz..?”</p><p>“Yah?”</p><p>“Umm, I currently despise how you’ve been acting, but I don’t know what else to do. You see, Amity has been through a lot since you’ve left. I’ve tried my best to get her...you know...mentally stable, but it’s always futile. She never listens to me, but maybe, j-just maybe, she’ll listen to you”. Suddenly Boscha jumps up at me, pressing her finger hard against my chest. “She has been waiting for you this entire time! And what do you do?! Slap her away! How fucking dare you!”</p><p>I could focus on the pain at my chest, or even what other words Boscha was saying to me, but no, instead there was only one thing that stuck out to me; ‘What? Has she actually kept the promise? Why?’</p><p>“You listen here!” I now focused back to what Boscha was saying to at least gather the end of it. “If you ever hurt her again, mentally or physically, I swear to the titan I will make your life worse than whatever happened to you while you were away!”</p><p>I gulped, now honestly a bit scared of Boscha. I don’t know what to say so I shakily nod my head in response. </p><p>“Good”, Boscha finally steps back away from me, allowing me to release some breath that I was unaware of. Boscha drew a quick circle in the air, and from it, a pen and paper appeared. She quickly wrote down something, using her knee as a table. “Here. Text me later, then I’ll text you any news about Amity. You better use whatever time you have to reflect on everything, and I mean everything you’ve done.” Boscha motions to Willow, starting to walk away. Gus quickly follows, leaving me alone, with my thoughts and Boscha’s number.</p><p>~~~</p><p> I lay down with my back on the bed, my mind running wild with thoughts of Amity. ‘What was I going to do if I saw her? It would be weird, awkward. Geez, maybe it would be best if I just didn’t see her’. These thought didn’t stop.</p><p>*beep*</p><p> </p><p>‘Mm? Who could be texting me I wonder.’ Luckily Eda got me a scroll before I came, I wanted to act grateful, which I was but I know how I acted wasn’t convincing. I grabbed my scroll and looked at who texted me, ‘oh it's Boscha, oh it's Boscha!’, I thought loudly to myself. I quickly open the text.</p><p>Boscha: “Hey I was able to get into contact with Amity.  We'll meet at 7. I'll send you the location later. Don't be late.”</p><p>Seeing the text I freeze for a second. ‘Was I going to be able to see Amity? What if I do something bad again? I don’t want to do that to her…’ I bury my face in my hands, running a hand through my hair. ‘No backing out now though’ I quickly get up, and figure out what I should wear. </p><p>*beep*</p><p>I grab my scroll off of my bed, seeing that Boscha sent me the location.</p><p>~~~</p><p>Heading out, I once again don’t see either Eda or King, making me wonder where they could be. I get greeted by Hooty, this time I decide to say at least something, “Hey Hooty…”. I don’t know how Hooty reacted to me actually talking to him, since I just continued to walk. </p><p>I reached the location. It was a small restaurant, hardly any people there. Walking in, it smelled of sweets, giving a calming feel. </p><p>“Luz! Over here.” I turned around when hearing my name, it was Boscha, sitting at a booth table. Amity across from her, not looking at me. I gulp, and make my way over to them. “You can sit next to Amity”. I notice Amity glare at Boscha, then takes a quick glance at me, before sliding down the seat so I can sit down. </p><p>I face forward, but keep my eye on Amity. She looks out the window, not wanting to make eye contact. There’s a little breeze that makes her hair flow, then I see it. She has bruises scattered on her neck, and a few cuts that looked like they were bleeding earlier. My eyes widen at the sight, and I part my lips, wanting to say something, but I stop myself. </p><p>Boscha clears her throat so I avert my attention to her. “Soo, what have you guys been up to?” None of us answer so she gets more specific with her question. “Amity, how has your writing been?”</p><p>‘Writing? I knew Amity liked to write, but the way she said it made it seem like a big portion of her life now.’</p><p>“It's going well…” Amity said, still not facing us. </p><p>I built up as much courage as I could before saying anything. “Writing?” I said, sadly that was all I could muster. </p><p>“Oh yah, Amity has been writing for a while now. From a little encouragement she actually published a book, that ended up getting really popular. Now she writes on the side.”</p><p>“That’s cool” I say looking over at Amity. I turned around just in time to see her ears perk up. “Uh, what was the book about? The one you published.” I tried to sound as sincere as I could, trying to be nice, and when I heard how nice my words were actually getting out, a twitch suddenly appeared. A part of me that I didn’t want was there, the part that I was terrified to show Amity. </p><p>Amity finally faces towards the table, no longer looking out the window, and I can no better see the injuries on her, my teeth clench tightly. “It-it’s about a girl, a girl that could brighten anyone’s day…” Amity glances at me for a second, before averting her attention back to the table. </p><p>I clench my fists, still angry that she’s injured, wanting to say something, unable to once again, so I settle on saying something different. “When did you start writing that book?”</p><p>“...About a week after you left.” I could only see the side of her face, but from what little I could see, I could still clearly see the pain on her face. I reach my hand up, wanting to comfort her, but right before I get there, I think back to when I first meet her, and how I slapped her hand away.</p><p>‘Would she be scared if I touch her?’ I think, looking over at her injuries again. I bite my tounge slightly and put my hand back down. </p><p>~~~</p><p>We spent the last couple hours just talking. It was great seeing Amity start to open up more around me. </p><p>“I should probably head back now. It was great seeing you guys again though.” I leave some money on the table and get up, starting to walk away. I hear a bit of mumbling from them as I walk away but pay not attention to it.</p><p>I leave the restaurant, standing stil, letting me enjoy the smell of the night air. Suddenly something taps on my shoulder so I turn my head around. ”Amity, need something?” </p><p>Amity is looking towards the ground for a second before making eye contact, “May I walk you home?” </p><p>My eye suddenly widen, but quickly relax. “Sure” I said now motioning to walk beside me.</p><p>The walk starts with a silence, none of us knowing what to say.</p><p>“What have you been up to every since you left..? I mean, like, if you want to of course! I just noticed...you didn’t talk much about yourself” Amity said, I could tell that she was still slightly scared of me, based on the shiver in her voice. </p><p>I stayed silent for a bit, not knowing how to respond, I still couldn’t tell her what I’ve done. Not now and probably not ever. “Why do you want to know?”</p><p>She slightly flinched, not liking my response, probably was hoping I would open up. She lets out a sigh, now looking forward more, but no words escape her.</p><p>I clench my fist, slightly regretting what I had said, but no turning back now.</p><p>~~~</p><p>The rest of the walk went in silence, us now reaching the owl house. We reach the entrance but I refused to remove myself from Amity’s side.</p><p>“Uhh, Luz? You good?” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Amity now looking at me, but I keep my eyes on the floor.</p><p>With as much courage I have, I pull out scroll from my back pocket. I swipe a few times, and end on a screen and show it to Amity. The screen was showing my number.</p><p>I look away from Amity and after a bit, I hear some movement.</p><p>*beep*</p><p>I look over at my scroll. Amity was holding her own scroll, and looking at mine, I now have a text from an unknown number. </p><p>“There, I’m assuming that’s what you wanted.” Amity said now looking at me. “Goodnight, Luz” she says, with no clear emotion and now turning around and walking away. </p><p>I stare at her for a bit, before looking back at my scroll and quickly adding Amity’s number to my contacts, naming her ‘Ami’. </p><p>I look back to where I last saw Amity, ‘maybe this can work..’ The moonlight makes me feel like I’m glowing, and the faint footprints of Amity almost glow as if I should follow...and be there by her side…</p><p>Chapter 4-End<br/>
Words: 2224</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading. I will try to post more consecutively from now on. I need some time to figure out my posting schedule, but I'll let you people know when I do. I also have been posting on Wattpad under the username 'ToastyButteredToast' and post the same chapters, just in case you preferred an app to read. Cya.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I'm Sorry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In Luz's perspective. Just another day, filled with memories and thoughts. Though ends with physical and emotional pain.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, had major writer's block on this chapter, but I was able to complete it. I would say a warning, but it's just really arguing that a new topic in this chapter, and I'm pretty sure if you made it through 'mother', this is nothing. Also a side note, some of the text is italic which helps keep the writing more easily determined if it's a flashback or not, but since it doesn't show, it may be better to read on Wattpad (post under same username) for the full experience. Anyways enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 5</p>
<p>It’s dark out, no light to be in sight, but there, right in front of me is a girl that is shining. Her teal hair flowed like the northern lights. Her pale skin is like a star. She was like the sky, the sun, the moon, all of it, in this one girl, she was breathtaking. I dance with her, spinning her around, and holding her in my arms, as if that’s where she belonged, right next to me.</p>
<p>‘Huh?’ I opened my eyes to see that I wasn’t with this girl anymore, instead, I was in my room. I groan and use my forearm to cover my eyes. “Damn dream…”. Even if I didn’t want to admit it, those times were something I wish would’ve never ended, being by her, by Amity. I drop my arm to my side, sort of expecting King to be laying down next to me, but when I hit the bed, I was brought more back into reality, away from past moments. </p>
<p>Putting away the thoughts, I get up in one swift movement, and stand there for a moment, realizing I gave myself a headache. Shaking off the pain, I head out of my room, ruffling my hair in the process. I open my door and hear inaudible chatter from the living room. Making my way there, I see Eda and King, who goes silent when seeing me. Both Eda and King are in the kitchen so I just sit down on the couch, not wanting it to be more awkward if I sat closer to them.</p>
<p>We hit an awkward silence, this almost deafening silence. I felt like I was drowning, my thoughts became cloudy, and my eyes fluttered close. </p>
<p>'Luz I understand you're going through some tough times, but you must move on', words were echoing in my head. 'You understand don't you?',  I open my eyes, seeing myself secluded in a dimly lit room. "Listen to me, you must move on, you have a loving family at home. Luz, be a kid to be proud of.” 'Be proud of? Ha, funny', I thought to myself. My therapist sighs, "You have to put an end to your foolish actions." I look to my left, no longer wanting to hear things, and I close my eyes.</p>
<p>“Luz?”, I opened my eyes again, looking over at Eda who called my name. “King and I are going to sell stuff at the market, want to come as well?” The tone in Eda’s voice told that she wanted to rekindle this relationship, and even if I wasn’t sure if it could happen, I decided I might as well try...a bit.</p>
<p>“Sure, I’ll come”, I said as I started getting up from the couch. When I stand up fully, I straighten my clothes, ‘These clothes are fine.’ </p>
<p>I notice King giving me quick glances, but averts his attention back to Eda. </p>
<p>Eda draws a circle in the air, packing all her stuff in a blanket and hanging it at the end of her staff, which she puts, leaning on her shoulder. She starts walking towards the door and both King and I follow her quietly.</p>
<p>When opening the door, Hooty starts talking, but Eda quickly shuts him up with a kick. Then we start walking into a constant pace to the market.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>The rest of the walk is silent, allowing me to doze off in a world of fantasies and memories. A world of dreams and nightmares. Reaching the market, my ears get filled with chatter, pulling me out of my thoughts.</p>
<p>I stand still, allowing my ears to be filled with noise more, and in one blink I’m taken somewhere else.</p>
<p>I stand in a hallway, the school hallway, the one on earth. Groups of friends line the lockers, some giving me quick glances. I hear laughter, and I look in that direction to see a group of friends laughing while pointing at me. I could feel the embarrassment being shown on my face. </p>
<p>I blink and once again, I’m back in the market, looking at a group of friends laughing together and not at me. I let out a sigh, my face expression turning stern. I avert my attention forward and catch up to Eda and King.</p>
<p>Reaching where Eda wants to set up, she draws a quick circle, making everything go right in place, well aside from the mess that’s in the tent. </p>
<p>Eda looks over at me, “you can go walk around the market if you want”. I shake my head in response, figuring I might as well chill for a bit. </p>
<p>I sit down on a bucket, watching the crowd go this and that direction. I paid attention to the little factors of each person that passes, it gave my mind something to focus on. </p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>Finding my mind drift off, I decide it’s about time for me to stretch. I look over at Eda, “Hey, I’m gonna head out for a bit”. Only getting a nod in response, I head out, making my way through the crowd. </p>
<p>My ears get filled with noise, making my ears ring. Suddenly in the back of all the noise, I hear him. ‘Weak. Pathetic. Useless.’ I cover my ears, in a hopeless attempt to stop the voice. I bump into people, but I pay no mind to their complaints as I continue on my way. I can’t handle it anymore, it’s getting too loud, the thoughts, the memories, the regrets. All of it is just too much for me to handle. </p>
<p>I open my eyes, looking for a place to go, when I see an alleyway, I make my way there quickly, still covering my ears. Letting myself fall against a brick wall, I finally release my ears, relaxing my muscles. Allowing time to start to fly by.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>“Luz?”, I put on a stern face and look to see who it is, Amity, of course it had to be her. I feel my face lose some sternness at the sight of her. I take my eyes off her and avert them to the ground. “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>As much as it was nice to see her, I couldn’t allow her to see me like this. “Nothing”. I quickly think of any response she could throw at me and how I should respond. </p>
<p>“Well obviously something is wrong.” I hear her take a step closer.</p>
<p>‘Ugh, I can’t deal with this right now’. I could feel my teeth grit. Somewhere inside of me was filling me with anger and I couldn’t suppress it. “Just leave me alone.” ‘Please’.</p>
<p>“Not until you tell me what’s wrong”.</p>
<p>I then slammed a fist into the already crumbling brick wall, making a few pieces fly out, a slight pang of pain was there. I hear her take a step back. I stand up to get on level with her. “I told you to leave me alone, okay?! I haven’t seen you in years and you just expect me to be all open! That isn’t gonna happen, so get out of the damn gutter!”</p>
<p>“I get out of the gutter?! What about you?! You can’t just expect us not to react to who you are now! How do you think I feel, huh?! YOU LEFT ME, YOU LEFT EVERYONE AND THEN YOU CAME BACK ONLY TO PUSH EVERYONE AWAY! I was gonna try and be friends with you again, but now I’m rethinking that.” She straightened her back, not breaking eye contact with me for even a split second. It goes silent for a bit, none of us moving. “It was my mistake to think that you are the same, I was wrong, and I stand corrected. It’s a fool’s thought to think such a thing, you’re clearly different. I’ll go, and I won’t bother...you anymore. Goodbye.” The way she said you, echoed, it sounded as if I was a stranger, and I hated it. She turns around and walks away, leaving me, step by step.</p>
<p>‘Wait, no, that’s not what I want to happen. No, Amity, don’t go. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ Everything starts to become blurry, then she’s gone, just like that. I fall onto my knees, getting a sting of pain, but just like my bleeding hand, I pay no attention to it. ‘I ruined it, I lost her. What could I do to get her back? Would she want to be back with me?’ As much as I want to suddenly wake up from this nightmare, I know that this is in fact reality that I can’t escape from.</p>
<p>~~~</p>
<p>I lay in my bed, facing the ceiling. My eyes feel dry, and sting, though I can’t remember if I was crying or if I have been staring for too long. I slowly look to my side, seeing my scroll.</p>
<p>“There, I’m assuming that’s what you wanted. Goodnight, Luz.” The words she said when I got her number echoed in my mind. ‘Should I text her? No, that’s a bad idea.’ I ruffle my hair, wanting to move at least a bit, but not sure what to do. Faint talking can be heard, but I quickly ignore it assuming it’s Eda and King.</p>
<p>*Bang Bang Bang*</p>
<p>‘Huh? Who’s that? And why are they knocking on my door so loudly.’ I get up slowly and make my way to the door. “What?”, I say while opening the door.</p>
<p>*Bash*</p>
<p>The second I opened the door, I got hit in the face, dropping me easily to the floor. </p>
<p>“What the hell?!”</p>
<p>“What did I tell you?! Mess with Amity again and I will cause you pain! And I’m planning on keeping that promise!” I regain my focus on who punched me and as expected, it’s Boscha.</p>
<p>Boscha grabs me by the collar, reeling her fist back to land another fatal blow, and I brace for impact, but it doesn’t come. I open my eyes, seeing Boscha have a confused expression, “Have you been crying?”</p>
<p>‘Fuck’ “Just punch me already, I know you want to.” </p>
<p>*Bash*</p>
<p>Unexpectedly she punches me again, which I wasn’t prepared for, thinking she would reel her fist back again. </p>
<p>“I should’ve expected that…”, based on my current pain, I knew it would be just as bad later on. Boscha grabbed me by the collar with both hands and shook me violently.</p>
<p>“I warned you not to hurt her again, and that I would hurt you if you did, so why did you do it?! Tell me.” Her last words were stern, making me gulp.</p>
<p>“I-I didn’t mean too, I just snapped…”, even if I didn’t want to keep eye contact with her, I knew I had to. It goes silent for a bit, and I could tell that Boscha was thinking of what to say.</p>
<p>*beep*</p>
<p>Boscha lets go of me slowly, getting up and grabbing her scroll, leaving me on the floor. She reads the screen then looks down at me, anger written on her face. “You are lucky this time, but I won’t be so lenient next time”, she says right before walking out of my room, slamming my door. I relax my body, allowing my head to land on the tiled flooring.</p>
<p>*beep*</p>
<p>‘Also my scroll?’ I slowly get up, touching my face feeling pain, bringing my hand in front of me, I see blood on my fingers.</p>
<p>I grab my scroll to see who it could be, ‘Amity..?’. I open the text quickly.</p>
<p>Amity: “Hi, sorry for Boscha. Couldn’t stop her, hope she didn’t hurt you much.”</p>
<p>I wanted to be happy that it was Amity that stopped her, knowing that she still cared enough for me to do that, but it couldn’t cover up what I’ve done to her. I started typing out a reply, my hand slightly shaking, though I couldn’t tell if it was from the physical or emotional pain. </p>
<p>Luz: “It’s okay, I know she was only doing it for you.”</p>
<p>The second I sent the text, a part of me hated how I worded that, but there was no turning back now. I touch my face one more time, realizing I should probably put some ice on it. I head out of my room, going straight to the kitchen, and to the fridge, grabbing an ice pack. I quickly head back to my room, and lay down, putting the ice pack on my face, not minding the freezing pain. </p>
<p>Building up what left courage I have, I grab my scroll, and text one last thing.</p>
<p>Luz: “Goodnight”</p>
<p>I don’t know if it was wise to even say such a thing, after what I had done previously, but it was something good, right? </p>
<p>*Beep*</p>
<p>I opened up the text, somewhat surprised by how quickly I got a response.</p>
<p>Amity: “Goodnight, Luz”</p>
<p>I put my scroll down, with a half-smile on my face. I hated what I did, and I don’t know what my next move will be to at least try to make up for that. I didn’t know if it would be better if I just left her alone. So many questions that were left unanswered that night, so many I wish never existed. ‘What now?’, was the final thought I had before drifting asleep, into a world of unknown.</p>
<p>End-Chapter 5<br/>
Words: 2217</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading, not much to say. Hope you have a great month, stay safe (geez, I feel like I see that a lot now). Cya.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Faded Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After having a consequence for her actions, will Luz be able to change? Or is it too much too handle?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, sorry for not publishing another chapter for quite a while. The next chapter won't take long for me to publish, I promise.  As you know, this chapter will contain some topics that may be sensitive to some, so read at your own discretion. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luz POV</p><p>Ever since that day, I can’t get the look of Amity’s face out of my mind. No matter how hard I try she’s there. I can’t sleep without dreaming about her, or maybe it’s a nightmare, reminding me of how messed up I am. That’s right, I’m messed up, cruel, unworthy to even be around Amity. I only cause her harm, that’s all I can cause. Pain, suffering. I should’ve never came back, no, I shouldn’t have come here in the first place…</p><p>I instantly shot out of my bed when these thoughts came into my mind. ‘Wait, what am I thinking? I know I’ve messed up now, but we still had some great memories, that’s worth something, right?’ I sit and think, letting memory after memory flood my thoughts. Some from long ago, and some more recent. As I think, I find myself getting closer and closer to a thought, some important memory that I have to remember. ‘What was it?’</p><p>*knock*</p><p>Of course something disturbs her, losing her train of thought. “King and I are gonna set up at the market. There’s some food on the kitchen counter.” Eda, a part of me wanted to yell at her for ruining my thoughts, but I suppressed the want to and just stayed silent instead. After a long moment, I hear footsteps down the stairs, and soon I hear a door close. </p><p>I lay back down in my bed for a bit longer, looking at the ceiling, trying to remember what I was thinking about, but I couldn’t. In one swift push of my hands against the mattress, I push myself up from the bed, making me dizzy for a moment. </p><p>I look over at my desk, a sketch book laying there, waiting to be used again. I brush my fingertips along the cover, a small bit of dust comes up. “It’s been awhile since I’ve used this”, I mumble to myself. I carry my finger to the side of the sketch book, going along the pages. I reach the edge, and a piece of paper comes out slightly. I pull it out a bit, and my eyes go wide. It was a side profile sketch of Amity…</p><p>I sat next to Amity, we were supposed to be studying but I’ve been too focused on her. The sunlight is touching her delicate skin in a dim, loving light. A strand of hair falls in her face, and I unconsciously reach up and gently move the hair strand behind her ear. When I look at her face again, she’s looking at me with curiosity. “ha, sorry about that”, I say to her, looking away a bit. </p><p>I get no response for a second, which I then look back up at her. She’s still looking at me, she’s wearing a smile filled with love. Then her eyes suddenly widen and she looks back down to her text book. “Uh yah, it’s all good, don’t worry, don’t worry at all!”, she says frantically. This lets a small giggle come out of me, and I see a small smile come from Amity. </p><p>“Those were the days. If only they never ended, wonder where I would be.” I let out a sigh, slowly pushing the sketch back in the pages. I close my eyes, letting my mistakes take over my mind. My muscles tense up, my fists clench together. Suddenly the anger comes. “FUCK THIS!”, I said as I threw a container of pencils at the wall. “WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?!”, I yell, now my fist ramming into the wall, leaving a hole. “I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING DO ANYMORE!”. I grab my chair, and throw it against the wall. Then I fall, fall down to my knees, shivers running up my spine. </p><p>I let my nerves calm down, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths. I slowly open my eyes, looking at my hands, one covered in blood from punching the wall. I look up at the broken pencils, the hole in the wall, the chair that no longer looks like one. I calmed myself but not before I broke, not before I hit, not before I ruined.</p><p>I rub my forehead, letting out one last sigh before standing up. I start to walk to the bathroom, thinking it would be best to bandage my wound. My movements feel sluggish, almost as if the world has slowed down. My head is blank, my emotions seem invisible, I feel gone. I hardly even noticed I reached the bathroom till I was standing at the door.</p><p>I don’t dare look at myself in the mirror. ‘What would my younger self think of me?’, I wondered to myself. I brush my hair with my freshly bandaged hand, of which slightly gets caught on my hair. I keep my eyes down, walking out of the bathroom, as easy as it would be to hide, I know I shouldn’t.</p><p>I reach for the door handle, noticing my bandaged hand shaking. I grab my wrist and clench my fist, after a moment it stops. I open the door with my other hand, and head towards the stairs. </p><p>I walk over to a plate of pancakes, I notice it’s still warm when the heat goes over my face. I stare at it a bit before finally grabbing it and sitting down. As I eat the pancakes, my vision starts to get blurry as my eyes get watery. ‘Eda can’t even look my in the eyes anymore, yet she’s still trying’, I thought to myself, rubbing my eyes. ‘I should keep trying as well, right?’. </p><p>I had finished the pancakes and decided it was best I got some fresh air, but where to go? I look up, seeing different creatures flying up above, oh how I wish I could fly away as well. Then it came to me, ‘Amity’s book’. I wasn’t here when she first published it, but I’m here now. </p><p>Going down the streets of the boiling isles, seeing faces I’ve known, smelling scents that used to make me cover my nose, it made me feel oddly warm. Then I was there, the library, so many memories here. I let myself feel a moment of nostalgia before walking in. I ask the librarian who points me to the section of where the book is. </p><p>Then I find it, “Once Here”, I say, reading the book title out loud. Without a second thought, I went to check it out. On my way to the librarian, I crossed paths with someone I would rather not at that moment.</p><p>“Well look who it is.” I look over to see no one other than Boscha. My face was still sore after getting punched. </p><p>“Hello, Boscha”, I said with no expression. Boscha’s third eye immediately focuses on the book I’m holding. She redirects her full eye contact with me again, eyes giving me a questioning look. Honestly I’ve questioned my own actions right now. </p><p>“You do realize how fucked up that is?”, Boscha suddenly said. “I mean, you emotionally and physically hurt Amity and now you want to know more about her.” A part of me wanted to say something, but I knew what I was doing, I knew she was right. I look down at the floor a little, still feeling her eyes focused on me. “We’ve gone over this. Pick a side, either be there for her or not at all.” With this, Boscha walked away, obviously had things planned that she didn’t want to miss.</p><p>With this I finally get to check out the book. I exit the library, excited to start reading, but then I remember how much of a mess I made of my room. With a bit of thinking I decided to read my book outside of the house, by the forest, since it wasn’t windy today. I hold the book to my chest, going on my way.</p><p>~~~</p><p>I reach the owl house, and make my way to the side of the forest, sitting next to a tree. I open the book, unsure of what to expect.</p><p>I flip to the devotion page, and read what it says, “Devoted to … the light that faded from view.”</p><p>As I start to read, I find myself immediately captivated by every word. The book is about a girl who is torn between loving the love of her life or focusing on what she has spent so much time on doing, a future career. When her love and her career don’t line up, which one is she willing to give up? In the end she decides to follow her lover, as she doesn’t believe she would ever get her off of her mind, but things don’t always end well. The final pages tell of a girl, broken, as she took too long to decide and before she knew it, the lover was gone. </p><p>I slowly close the book, letting the emotions of the book rewind in my mind. A part of me didn’t want to admit it, but I knew it was about Amity and I. I feel my muscles tense up. ‘Why did I leave..? It was stupid of me. Of course, I always make damn mistakes!’ Anger towards myself started to come, luckily I realized it quickly. </p><p>Without giving myself more time to think about my mistakes, I decide to walk around. I noticed that the sun was starting to set but I didn’t care much. </p><p>I spend time fiddling with my thumbs, holding the book and thinking about all the events in the book, trying not to connect them to me as best as I could. I kept my eyes on the floor, not paying attention to where I was going. When I finally looked up, I’m standing in between a forest and a cliff, with a great view of the boiling isles. I looked in front of me, and there I see her, the back of the girl that could’ve been my lover, till I wasn’t here anymore. Why did I walk directly towards her, maybe there was some force knowing I had to be there, right at that moment. </p><p>End-Chapter 6<br/>Words: 1701</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Ready</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Amity is suffering both mentally and physically. When Amity has gone through so much pain, what will she do to deal with it? What can she do?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You know the typical warnings. Ready at your own discretion.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 7</p><p>Amity POV</p><p>I lay in my bed barely waking up, my blinds were shut so I couldn’t tell if it was light out yet, but I didn’t care either way. I close my eyes again, still drowsy. I pushed my head more into my pillow, trying to get more comfortable, but it didn’t help, so I let out a small groan.</p><p>*knock knock*</p><p>The sudden knocks at my door makes me open my eyes again, more awake than before. “Amity, I’m heading out for a bit, better be studying when I get back”, which I assumed was my mom. Shortly after I heard the front door open and close. As much as I didn’t want to get up yet, I knew of the consequences of not studying, but there’s no harm in studying a bit later.</p><p>I slowly got up and went to my desk, I figured that instead of studying I would write, a perfect time to start my most recent idea. I quickly pull out my scroll just to check what time it is, that’s when I notice it’s already past noon, I had slept longer than I originally thought. Putting that thought aside, I open my journal, reading through the ideas I have previously written. While reading, I ruffle my hair, realizing just how messy it is. I take out a sheet of paper, readying myself to write a simple draft by hand. I put my pencil to the paper, and leave it there for about a minute before dropping it.</p><p>“Ugh!”, I let out a groan, flopping my hands to my desk. Everytime I want to write, something stops me from starting this story. I’ve thought this story over and over again, but it still feels like something is missing. I gently rest my fingertips on an idea I had crossed out earlier “Heartbroken Love?”. My mind starts flooding with thoughts of Luz, but before I let them take control, I go to grab an eraser, quickly realizing I wrote it in ink. I frantically scribble multiple lines over it, in an attempt to cover it more. “Stupid, stupid. All just stupid.” I lay my head down on the desk. “Why did she have to come back…?”. I shut my eyes, trying to calm my thoughts. </p><p>After several more attempts to try and write, I decided I should do something else entirely. Study? No. Walk? Nah. Eh, I’ll just tidy myself up. </p><p>*ring ring*</p><p>“And someone is calling me...great…”. I grab my scroll to see who it is. I’m instantly shocked by who is calling me; Edric, and I quickly hit ‘answer.’</p><p>Amity: “Hello?”</p><p>Edric: “Amity! Mom isn’t there, right?”</p><p>Amity: “No, but you shouldn’t be calling me. You know how mom gets.”</p><p>Edric: “I know, but I can’t leave my sister all alone.”</p><p>Amity and Edric spent an unknown amount of time talking about meaningless things and catching up. Then after a bit, Emira also joined. </p><p>Amity: “Have you guys heard…?”</p><p>Emira: “Heard what?”</p><p>Amity: “Luz came back”</p><p>Edric: “Wait really?! How is she? Have you guys talked? Maybe she can help you, she did before!”</p><p>There was clear excitement in their voices. This may be the time where their sister will finally smile again.</p><p>Amity: “That won’t happen…”</p><p>With this one line, a line filled with pain and sorrow, both Emira and Edric didn’t know what had happened but they didn’t need to to understand that Luz will no longer help Amity. Their hearts sank, so many questions that can’t be answered; ’Will Amity be okay? What am I gonna do if I lose her? I can’t lose my sister, I just can’t. Is there anything we can do to help…?‘ Everyone goes quiet, not knowing what to say next until…</p><p>Amity: “I don’t know what to do…”</p><p>Amity starts sobbing, tears running down her face with no end in sight.</p><p>Amity: “She’s special to me... I can’t depend on her anymore. Ed...Em...what do I do...?”</p><p>Both Edric and Emira start to panicking of what they should say, is there even anything they could say? Damnit, if only they were there, maybe they could help. What would dad do?</p><p>*bang*</p><p>Suddenly my door is jolted open, opened with such force that it made a hole in my wall. I look over quickly to witness my mom standing in the doorway, looking at me as if I was trash. Worthless, pointless trash. I start to worry the worst.</p><p>Emira: “Amity? What happened?”</p><p>My mom rushes to me, grabbing my wrist tightly, making it quickly throb with pain. She grabs my scroll, looking at who I was calling. The moment she sees I realize just how much trouble I was in.</p><p>“Mother, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, just please don’t hurt me!”, I say, begging my mother. I bow my head, trying to show that I will obedient.</p><p>Edric: “Ami-“</p><p>Before Edric could even finish, she rips my scroll in half and slaps me.</p><p>“I’ve told you this before! You can not talk to them! I don’t care if they’re your siblings, they aren’t blights anymore, those disgraceful children!”</p><p>She grabs the back of my chair, and pulls it down, making me fall to the ground. I hit my head hard against the floor, more throbbing pain.</p><p>“I’m your mother you have to listen to me!”, she yells at me while she kicks me with her heels, piercing the end to my forehead with every kick.</p><p>“Mother, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I regret it. I promise I won’t do it again!”, I desperately say, while tears violently run down my face, making a small puddle on the floor. </p><p>“Do you know how much time I’ve put into making you the greatest witch?! You won’t ruin that!” She shouts as she puts her foot on my head, slowly putting more pressure and twisting her heel, making me bleed.</p><p>When I stopped moving, she finally lifted her heel, nudging me in the face to make sure I was still conscious. She turned around and left my room.</p><p>“Get up and study”, was all she said before closing my door.</p><p>I stay on the floor for a bit, unable to move, traumatized once again. I try to get up, but the pain in my head forces me back down. I know that if I go to the bathroom to clean this injury, she will hurt me, and honestly I just want to leave. Leave to where though? Boscha’s? No, I shouldn’t disturb her, I shouldn’t disturb anyone anymore, who would want to deal with me anyways? No one, that’s who. </p><p>I slowly get up, doing my best to not fall again, as it would make the injury worse. I can’t stay in this house, so maybe I’ll just find somewhere outside. I know, my favorite spot.</p><p>I grab a few things, mainly just my journal and pencil, as writing has always been my sanctuary. I pay no mind to the throbbing my head is going through. I open the window and use a spell to gently fly down, and start my trek while avoiding people. </p><p>~~~</p><p>When I finally reach the spot, I slowly sit down at the edge, letting myself enjoy the view. The slight breeze against my face was truly worth it. The fresh air makes me completely ignore the throbbing pain. My fear that I just had, left my body. I let a small smile cross my face, as tears started falling down my face. To be able to look upon the boiling isles, at all the places I once loved and the places I have always hated was something I enjoyed. Being so high up and far away made me feel safe. This was the only place I would feel safe at, and I wanted to feel safe till the end. </p><p>From here I could see the library, my favorite place was there. I remembered all the great memories there. I look over to Hexside, which I used to hate, but now I look at it in a different light, but one that I care less about than before. I look at it all, and I wish I could look at it forever, but I knew that I would have to leave this peace eventually. </p><p>I look right ahead, the dark sky turns to a loving dark blue, as the moon starts to rise. A cold breeze goes once over against my face, and that’s when I knew I was ready.</p><p>“Sorry…”, was all I said before pushing myself from the edge, falling down and down, all the way back to this miserable world.</p><p>End-Chapter 7<br/>Words: 1445</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Also if you ever want to private message me about something, feel free to. The easiest method would most likely be to go through Wattpad (username: ToastyButteredToast).</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading. Later on in chapters it will get worse and worse, so if it hits a topic which is sensitive to you, please stop reading. I will put warning in the beginning of the chapters to explain what will be shown/talked about within the chapter. If you enjoy my writing, or would rather have something with more fluff, I am currently writing another AU which has the 2nd chapter so far. I decided I would write things opposite from each other. If you have any recommendations or ideas you think would be cool to any in any of my stories, feel free to comment. Anyways, that concludes what I want to say, cya.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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